“Nah man, I’m stupid.”
That’s exactly what I expected Danny to say. I was filling
one of my “free” days by substituting for an English teacher at a local public
high school. I learned when I got there, though, that I’d be teaching the kids with
behavior problems.
It had been a “challenging” day. The concept of education seems
foreign to these students. Several revolted at the idea of having to do actual
schoolwork. By mid-afternoon, I ached with discouragement. These were the kids
being warehoused, not educated. The system had given up on them. So had many of
their parents, too. As a result, most of them had given up on themselves. Danny
was one of them.
Danny is a tall young man who, looks much older than the
other students, mid-20’s maybe, not his actual age of 17. An aide told me Danny
had issues with self-worth; often acting the “alpha male,” okay with people he
trusted, but lashing out whenever he felt someone was trying to embarrass him. Playing
the role of “the bad kid” was Danny’s primary defense mechanism.
 |
Ralph Waldo Emerson’s wisdom can connect
us with both nature and our inner selves. |
The class assignment was to analyze a passage of Self Reliance, Ralph Waldo Emerson’s
essay exploring man’s relationship with nature and the duality of our own
existence – the fact that we have, in a sense, two separate personas. The first
is the person we present to the world. The other, however, is the person we
really are, deep down, the person we keep hidden from others and, all too often,
from ourselves. What luck! I saw an opportunity to lead these low achievers to
look within and hopefully begin to find their true value as human beings.
I saw the mental gears grinding in Danny’s eyes as I led the
students though the essay’s purpose. Later, checking with students as they wrote
out answers to worksheet questions, I asked Danny if he could see Emerson’s
point on nature’s influence on our lives. That’s then he answered with his
“stupid” self-assessment. I saw it as an open door and took a chance, getting
three inches from his face and speaking in a quiet but very firm voice that
only he could hear.
“Look at me. You are NOT stupid. I can see it in your eyes.
There’s a lot going on in there. I know it. And you know it, too. Start being
the real you.”
Danny blinked and looked away, sheepishly, like he just got
caught stealing the last cookie from the jar. No one had ever challenged him
like this before, to look so hard in the mirror.
Danny’s really no different than any of us. Sometimes we all
need a “boot in the britches” to get us to look in our own mirrors. We get this
from time to time, from people who care for us – friends, spouses, parents, our
children. Even God. Yes, God “talks” to us. Sometimes in whispers; sometimes
with sledge hammers. He asks us to meet him where that second persona lives,
deep inside each of us. What’s important is that we pay attention. That’s how
we eventually become the persons God wants us to be.
I heard from one of Danny’s teachers recently. He’s more
focused, she said. More patient, more tolerant, too. Incremental changes lead
to larger transformations for Danny and for us, too. All we have to do is
listen. Or, put another way, “Whoever has ears to hear ought to hear.” (Mk 4:9)
