State troopers aren’t fair (…and neither is God)

This may be one of those happy coincidences, coming at the same time U.S. bishops are meeting in St. Louis to discuss how to best respond to Pope Francis’ emphasis on God’s grace and forgiveness. The “coincidence” was one of those rare moments of delicious satisfaction on the road. I was driving on an interstate spur when I noticed a car in my rear view mirror. I assumed it was a car. It was so close, all I could see was the angry driver’s face glaring through a windshield. So close, I assumed he was trying to read the serial number on the inside of my tailpipe.

My definition of a dangerous driver is anyone who drives faster than me. But tailgaters are the worst. I thought of speeding up to put a little distance between us, but I was already doing 75 in a 50 mph zone, so that wasn’t going to work.

A lane finally opened up as soon as we hit I-295. As expected, the guy immediately blew by me doing at least 90 mph, showing his disdain that I had the audacity to be on his own private highway. I mean, really, didn’t I realize who he was?

This is not usually a welcome sight in your
rear-view mirror – unless the trooper is
chasing another driver.

That’s when it happened.

The Florida Highway Patrol cruiser was idling on the left shoulder. It was impossible to miss. But the driver of the speeding car, so intent on leaving everyone in his dust, did miss the trooper until he was almost next to him. Slamming on the brakes wasn’t going to save him. Blue lights flashed. And I felt a flash of satisfaction. “Yes!” I thought. “He’s getting what he deserves!”

That’s when I heard that little voice in my head. The one that automatically kicks in every time I have such joyful, self-satisfying thoughts of the guilty reaping their richly-deserved "rewards."

“Just like you’ll get yours.”

I can’t remember when or under what circumstance that little voice first emerged. But it’s been there a while, an unwelcome reminder that I’m eventually going to have to account for my actions – sometimes here and now, but most assuredly later. We often forget this because of a glitch in our human reasoning gene. We tend to justify our actions. “Fairness” means getting the benefit of the doubt because we have “reasons.” Everyone else has “excuses.”

We don’t usually like it when the other guy gets a break instead of us. Here’s an example: Remember the story of the landowner who hired laborers to work in his vineyard at different times throughout the day but paid everyone the same? (Mt 20:1-16) When the guys who worked the whole shift complained, the landowner reminded them he could be generous to anyone he chose. The underlying message? Mind your own business because I’m free to give you a break, too.

We’re all held accountable according
to the Law. Christian faith in Jesus
gives us hope that God’s justice
will be overshadowed by His grace.

Matthew already connected this analogy – parable – to God’s grace and our own judgment. So instead of belaboring the obvious, here’s another real-life “road” story. It’s about a friend on the way to his overnight shift at work. His route took him over a long bridge that just begs drivers to speed. Since it was dark and the bridge was deserted, he did just that – powering his car to well above 100 mph. You can guess what happened.

The first thing the trooper asked him was “What the hell were you thinking?” Instead of trying to justify his actions, my friend decided to ’fess up. “I was just being stupid,” he replied.

The trooper should have written my friend a ticket. He could have arrested him and hauled him off to jail. But, incredibly, he did neither. Instead, the trooper let him go with an order to “quit being stupid.” It was the FHP equivalent of “Go and sin no more.”

State troopers are law enforcers. Usually fair, letter of the law, with an “Old Testament” philosophy. Not like God. God is not fair, even when we push our 55 mph lives above 100 mph. Thank God for that.